I used to see nearly every movie that came out. Looking back, I have no idea how I afforded it, but I saw a shit load of movies in the theater. Now, with schedules the way they are, I get to see a movie maybe once a quarter. I pick them for popular culture significance, content, novel appeal, and genre specific reasons. Last night I made an error with my movie selection; Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull over IronMan.

I love Indy. I owned the VHS and now the FIRST DVD box-set of all his earlier adventures. I am looking forward to XMAS when I can ask for the early Indy TV series. Ty and I are stoaked for the LEGO Indy Wii game since we loved the LEGO Star Wars series. So when the wife and I decided to venture out and see a film in a tornado (eh, kids had a babysitter), I strongly stated we were going to see Indy!

Wife – Indy, you sure you don’t want to see IronMan?
Me – See, IronMan is going to look awesome on our flat-screen with the sound, while I have to see Indy in the theater. I really want to see IronMan, but again, it’s Indy… you have to experience him in all his glory and movie-theater-pop-corn-and-candy glory. It’s Indy!

So why was a yawning (literally) half way through? Why didn’t I mind when the babysitter called because she was afraid of letting the dog out he’d get gobbled up by a tornado? Why did I *gasp* actually look at my phone to see what time it was, and how much more pain was I going to have to endure? Where the hell was my Indy? Come-on, don’t give me that crap about how old he is! Connery was balls rocking as Jones Sr. And Indy was awesome in the fight scenes… so what was it? There was not sharp wit. No snap (sorry, whip pun) in his delivery. He was soft spoken. He moved in slow strides without the saunter. There was no crazy in his eyes… now I guess they wanted that focus to be on the new Jr. Jr. Indy, but it missed. And is it me, or did the film drip with more sappy “gee-shucks” moments then a freaking Drake & Josh episode?

$18 for the movie (2 of us). $12.40 for 2 bottle waters and a small popcorn. She sneaked in candy I bought her while she was in the hospital, so lets say another $1… $31.40 (not counting the gas; lets not forget the gas) + babysitter money which the wife took care of, and the fact that the kids ate all my snacks because they were “scared of the tornado… dude, all my CoolRanch were GONE when I got home…” I’m going to say it was an expensive night that should have resulted in a little more escapism, less reality.

Indy, you’ve let me down. Maybe it was the mitigating factors already described. Maybe the intent was for me to be bored with you so I could better accept the new kid. Maybe you are just too “old” and no longer salty or crazy. No matter what, I’ve got you in 3 previous films (not including a whole TV series I’m drying to catch up on) and now I KNOW I’m going to like IronMan that much more.