So my wife looks over to me and says “actually, you are that guy…”

We all watched the SuperBowl last night. Because of this stupid weight loss competition I couldn’t enjoy bowls of chips, pretzels, dip, soda, beer (ok, I gave up beer a while ago, but I really wanted a Miller Light for some reason) and PIZZA ROLLS! Sober, hungry and TIVO in hand I rewound my share of SuperBowl ads. Breathing fire was funny. GoDaddy was alright (online spot). The one that hit a personal nerve was the Helzberg Diamond spot.

Let’s back up a little. When the XMAS holiday was closing in on us Kansas City was littered with billboards for Helzberg. I was irritated then due to the message they were pushing. Helzberg was basically saying “…you are a sad, dumb-man, she knows it, you can’t nor do you HAVE to do anything else but get her diamonds…from Helzberg…” That’s a bit degrading. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a selfish prick and I do pretty much what I want then ask for forgiveness later (have you see the Porsche blogs), but I also try and DO things that matter. I buy her gifts and jewelry, but not instead of the personal care and thoughtful smaller things.

“…because you’re not that guy…”

Back to the SuperBowl ads. Now granted, I’m not going to wash the dog instead of watching the game with friends. Fine. I get that. The card aspect is another story. First wedding anniversary. We didn’t have much our first year. Just got into our first house, had our first kid, things were tight, but I did want to do something special. Paper is year one. I went out and bought some very heavy paper stock. I also wrote (wait for it) a poem – not shit, I actually put down words from my heart. I then bought a carving block and tools to create a custom stamp for the cover (come-on, I got into college on a painting scholarship, cut me some slack). I then asked my mother (shut it), whom has the best penmanship, to transcribe the poem onto the inside. Lastly, I folded the piece and wax stamped a seal. I basically did exactly what Helzberg was suggesting I wouldn’t do in a million years. The point? Just because I’m a selfish ass doesn’t mean I don’t care enough about my wife to do something special for her.

So my wife looks over at me and says “actually, you are that guy…and when you’re not you buy me Tiffany’s…”