Once again Google has taken an existing technology and added just enough spin to make it better – Google Talk. Seriously, Google is taking over. Once Google Earth catches up with what the government must have in regard to cleaner/crisper imagery, the virtual world we call the web will enable me to stalk a LOT easier.

I mean, honestly, 4 billion:

“Google shares, which have tripled since going public one year ago, closed Wednesday at $285.10 on the Nasdaq Stock Market, giving the offering an estimated value of $4 billion (euro3.25 billion) at that share price.”
cnn.com

So the question is, what will Google do with another 4 billion? Buy someone of course.

On a totally unrelated note (I know, stabbings are a lot more interesting) I just got an e-mail from my baby’s new owner. Yes, I sold one of my children. Screw YOU society; I should be able to sell ANYTHING I WANT! Obviously I’m referring to my 1966 Porsche and not an actual child.

She had been on the market for just about three months. Shit loads of inquires, a couple test drives, and one final buyer. I had just got back from showing her and I got an e-mail. He was interested, of course. We chatted back and forth on gmail. I was tired, and even more tired of these guys never getting back to me. I said “John, if you really want her, send me a deposit and I’ll pull the listings…” He says “Ok, how much?” I was dumbfounded. Why didn’t you pull that one SOONER dumbass!?!?

Wouldn’t you know it, after driving her back from the last showing she wouldn’t crank over. The guys over at 912bbs gave me a shit-storm of an “idiot, what you are describing isn’t possible! Why not tell us what isn’t working and WE’LL tell you what is wrong…” I love being stupid. So, the good people at Imagine Auto changed some wires, bolted a relay back on, and she fired right up. Actually, she drove better after that one modification that she ever did in my possession. GOD DAMN IT!

So John flew in from Denver, drove her back and she started acting the same way again? But this is what he sends me:

“I love her.

Got the Whale tail ready to go on but the sun roof didn’t work out so well considering I was probably using the wrong tools…I thought a can opener would work but I guess I was wrong.

Seriously I have only buffed her with a diaper. She is going in for her doctor visit on Thursday and I have checked to see if the starter has some loose wiring but could not find any problems with the starter motor wiring or the booster wiring. I guess that is where the professionals come in right?

Thanks again, I can not say that enough.”

She’s a dream car. He’ll love her for years to come. Part of me hates him.

This is all I’ve been hearing about on the BUZZ. The ride home yesterday, the ride in this AM. All the VJs are really messed up about it. Seems a 16 year old Honor Roll student had an off day and possibly stabbed her mother. She’s being tried as adult. The Kansas City Star has the story.

What I found interesting on Lazlo’s program last night was his honest attempt to find out if there had been anything he missed. The BUZZ has a chat room that this girl (I’m sorry, even if she is being charged as an adult she’s still just a kid) posted a number of times. General conversations, comments, images (of herself), general intelligent bullshit. Lazlo even called Dr. Drew to get his thoughts on the whole situation. Dr. Drew ran a number of possibilities on what could have caused the stabbing one of which is the use of drugs. He went on to talk about the effects of SPEED. The catch slogan that was coined in the 70’s “Speed Kills” doesn’t refer to the fact that by using SPEED you will die, but prolonged use will create the illusion of sever paranoia mixed with strong rage and the desire to physically hurt someone.

I know nothing about the situation other than what I’ve heard on the radio, read in the newspaper and researched on her BLOG and chatroom posts. I don’t know if she was abused, was even ON drugs or has any mental illnesses. I am confident, currently living here in KC that I will find out more details, but doubt anyone will even understand the real reasons.

I mean, christ, BTK is still going on here, what the hell is next? I need a drink.

I get a shitload of links from friends all the time. Why are mine better than the ones your friends send? My friends are designers and go looking for the best shit on the web. Am I saying my friends are better than yours? Hell yes they are.

www.pumpupthemovie.com/toss.html is pretty fucking funny.

I realize I’ve reached an echelon of geek-dom that is still on the edge of excess, but holy shit, I can record ALL the Law & Order SVUs, and That 70’s Show, and Futurama, and The Most Extreme (Animal Planet, for the boy, was the only way he’d get in the god-damn car to go to Best Buy). I can also Pause live TV, replay shit, and a whole slew of other shit I’ll never use!

Now I don’t watch much TV. Why then did I buy a fucking Tivo you ask? Because the TV I do watch is very specific. The fact that I can record those shows, find 30 minutes in between the family/house/job/cars/freelance, and actually sit down and watch what I want when I want just seems like the logical way to run my life. I am, after all, living in the On Demand world. Why shouldn’t I be able to control the destiny of my viewing pleasure instead of the corporate giants “telling” me what to watch, when to watch. God damn it, Tivo is as American as ignoring the homeless, or leaving your dog locked in the back seat on a blazing hot day, or crack heads being Mayor.

With any luck, studies will show prolonged exposure to the gamma rays being omitted by the box will shrink your testicles to the size of Goobers and cause partial memory loss.

My wife is a fantastic writer. She doesn’t do it enough. But when you run a house of chaos and deal with an over-inflated ego such as mine, time runs away from you; at a very hurried pace.

Today my son gets his 3 shots he needs to enter Kindergarten. I am taking a half day to help restrain him while my daughter most likely looks on in horror and fascination at her brother’s reaction. My wife wrote an entry about it which I will quote here:

“As I open my mouth to admit the possibility of shots (I refuse to actually confirm them) he comes over to my side, takes my hand and says “Cause I know it’s just little needles and won’t hurt that bad.” My jaw drops, he continues, “I do get scared sometimes when they want to stick the little needles in, but then the hurts over so fast and I don’t even cry…”

What a kick ass little dude. He doesn’t know dads picking up Star Wars Clone Wars for us to watch this afternoon. He doesn’t know we’re going to hang and chill till he feels up to eating whatever he wants. He’s growing up, and I think that’s a little difficult for mommy.

I’m just psyched I get to watch Clone Wars with the boy this afternoon and give him his first
beer, first lap dance, and first tattoo.

So, thanks to my work schedule and the numbness in my wrist I believe I may have finally contracted carpal tunnel syndrome. I use the word “contract” because this could have been avoided; I could have used protection to save myself the discomfort, embarrassment and humiliation I’ve had to suffer out in the open. I am now labeled a pansy.

Because I am so needed at my job, a specialist was brought in to evaluate my working station, the way I sit, the distance my monitor sits in relation to the outreach of my arms (?). So after it’s all said and done, I am more uncomfortable now then I was when I had opened my big fucking mouth “do you REALIZE how hard you work me here? NO help, LONG hours; and I think I have carpal TUNNEL!” I figured I’d get a pat on the back, maybe a half day, but not all this crap.

So now my chair is upright, my line of sight 3/4 from the top of my monitor, my second monitor is raised on a platform to my right, and all my god damn Photoshop palates are ALL screwed up.

Isn’t it time for a drink?

As a professionally trained photographer (many people think I come off as arrogant when I start a sentence this way. It offends people who think that statement deems me a better photographer then they are, and such that I have a wealth of knowledge that they don’t to which I shouldn’t be so blatant about. Fuck that. For $100,000 [which is what my education fucking cost] and the fact that I am no LONGER a professional photographer, all that first statement says is that I am TRAINED as one) who no longer shoots very often I become lonely. I miss the chemicals, the paper, the negatives, the Polaroid’s and especially the sense of accomplishment when I do shoot a great fucking image. So I’ll take one of my 40 different cameras and shoot for a couple weeks, or days, or maybe I just look real hard at the camera and think about the picture I could be taking, and then I get back to my fucking digital playground. When I do get the bug it’s usually for a new camera. A new digital camera because I’ve become a lazy slacker who likes the idea of starting out in Photoshop as opposed to cleaning a shitty scan.

$22,000 for a Digital Hasselblad. $22 fucking thousand dollars. Can you hear the conversation:

“hey babe, I know I’ve been talking about selling one of the kids and getting a Porsche 914, but get THIS; Hasselblad has a new Digital Camera out that uses Zeiss Optics, has a built in 40GB hard drive, and looks like the Honda Element of cameras! What do you think? Get 2? Sell BOTH kids? You’re the best…”

Fuck me sideways. I need more inexpensive hobbies.