I realize I’ve reached an echelon of geek-dom that is still on the edge of excess, but holy shit, I can record ALL the Law & Order SVUs, and That 70’s Show, and Futurama, and The Most Extreme (Animal Planet, for the boy, was the only way he’d get in the god-damn car to go to Best Buy). I can also Pause live TV, replay shit, and a whole slew of other shit I’ll never use!

Now I don’t watch much TV. Why then did I buy a fucking Tivo you ask? Because the TV I do watch is very specific. The fact that I can record those shows, find 30 minutes in between the family/house/job/cars/freelance, and actually sit down and watch what I want when I want just seems like the logical way to run my life. I am, after all, living in the On Demand world. Why shouldn’t I be able to control the destiny of my viewing pleasure instead of the corporate giants “telling” me what to watch, when to watch. God damn it, Tivo is as American as ignoring the homeless, or leaving your dog locked in the back seat on a blazing hot day, or crack heads being Mayor.

With any luck, studies will show prolonged exposure to the gamma rays being omitted by the box will shrink your testicles to the size of Goobers and cause partial memory loss.